Dear Senator Craig,

Your ship is sinking. Please spare the American people from freaking out over your bathroom incident and reliving the sordid details throughout the 2008 elections. If you stay, Democratic pundits have a rotting corpse you to salivate over for months to come. Not appetizing, nor productive. Voters are hoping for a little more substance in the debate this time around. Your whole crew has suddenly become craigophopic: Governor Romney is disappointed (even after your starring role in his video); the call with Senator McConnell left committee-less; Michelle Malkin thinks you are a lying crapweasel; and your former Senate colleagues want you out. Who knew a few foot taps could cause so much trouble? Oh yeah, you did.   It’s time for you to bail say bye-bye to the Senate chamber and move on to your next line of work. You’re a good singer, maybe you can get a record deal out of all of this mess – Hollywood likes train-wrecks.